The Bitching Post

Who, me?

Perhaps it’s just my RL years catching up with me, but it turns out, I’m not nearly as open-minded as I’d like to be.  I’m not talking about race, creed, sexual preference, age or even political party!  But, I’m sorry to say there are a few virtual life practices I just don’t have patience for.

I mean… I just can’t take a conversation with a dragon very seriously!  Or people with wings, halos or horns…or vampire teeth.

Pretending to be a master, slave, Gorean woman or a Mom, Dad, big brother or sister?  Not sure you’ll easily keep my attention.

I’ve yet to encounter a child avi without having really icky feelings!  I’m sure there are many well intended child avis on the grids – but, with internet child abuse/pornography so prevalent and hard to detect, why in the world would you want to be remotely associated?

My higher conscience knows I’m being snobbish.  I mean, virtual living is THE PLACE to pretend and experiment with alternate styles and lifestyles!  Fortunately, my little corner of the virtual world doesn’t put me in situations where these folks would have to put up with me and my narrow mind!  🙂

But what’s really driving my fingers today are …RL Married People who have romantic relationships online – but not with their RL spouse!

Some of these people keep their 2nd life a complete secret from their RL spouse and family.  Some claim to tell their RL spouse..but really don’t.  Perhaps most common, is creating a modest description of SL to tell your RL spouse.  (this is when calling it “just a game” must come in handy!)  “They’re just avatars on poseballs – it’s not real!”  “We just dance and talk a bit”  It’s really easy to downplay the description of SL activities.

Meanwhile, inside the IM window, commitments to have partnerships, agreeing to not date or dance with anyone else online, sharing of secret dreams and fantasies and SO MUCH MORE occur.

Each RL married avi I know has a special way of justifying…or classifying, their online actions for themselves.  It’s incredibly easy to fool yourself too, to compartmentalize it…after all, it’s your PC/laptop, where you play online games….

I’m no saint!  I’ve been a 3rd party in these situations.  Knowingly and unknowingly.  It’s a shitty thing to do….so I tell myself before and after!

I’ve read all the debates about online relationships.  They ARE real – They AREN’T real.  You SHOULD be jealous – You SHOULDN’T be jealous.

Come on people – can you tell me that the emotions online aren’t real???  Genuine, heartfelt exchanges take place.  Those poseballs stir affectionate thoughts!   Did you put all that time and $$ into your sexy avatar just to impress yourself?

Think you’re safe because you don’t use X-rated or kinky poseballs?  Pfffft  Poseballs aren’t the threat at all!  It’s those private moments shared, the whispers, the anticipation and growing desire that would worry me!

It’s not always about romance, either….I once shared hotel recommendations with a long-time avi friend, who was going to my favorite European cities.  He and his RL wife had a great trip and he reported that my hotel advice had been great.  I guess his RL wife hadn’t known about me or his SL – and when she discovered SL and our chat history, she was so upset!  Upset that her husband had a virtual pen-pal, that he took advice from some “stranger” (gee, i don’t seem like a stranger to me!) for their RL vacation, that he had hours and hours of chat (nothing romantic) that covered day-to-day crap, the kind of crap you share with your dear friends.  She was upset to not know he had a dear friend.  I totally understood where she was coming from.

Ultimately, it’s the RL couple’s life and situation!  (and i should mind my own business) Perhaps they’ve special guidelines for each other, or have a true understanding and acceptance of what their spouse is doing online.  Polygamists even!  Perhaps my RL married avi friends are being neglected in RL and SL is filling a void…. any scenario is possible!  Yet, I can’t help feeling that the RL spouses are not getting the whole story (even if they think they are) – and if they did, they’d be crushed!!

After about a year of SL, I had a sudden revelation and added it to my Profile RL tab  – it still holds true to me today:  Why say your RL is private when really it’s your SL that’s the big secret?

If you happen to be on my Friend list and think I’m writing about you – you’re probably right!  But, 6 of my 10 Friends can think the same….so it’s not specifically you 🙂  And, my friends – this topic irks me, but doesn’t change the friendship I feel for you!  …there are no dragons on my Friend list!

Online relationships are a new frontier – I’m no expert – and all of this is just my personal reaction.

I’m sure my next post will be light and witty… it’s time to hang up my hat at The Bitching Post and ease on over to The OK Corral!

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Published in: on January 3, 2011 at 3:54 am  Leave a Comment  

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