Full Circle with a New Shop Location

I was really excited to find a retail parcel for rent on the Esoterica sim in Second Life.   I’m not sure what took me so long – I should have sought this out a long time ago!  It’s not my first shop rental …but something about getting set up there was giving me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.

Esoterica sim is the home of Flashmans!!!   You have been to the opium den at Flashmans, haven’t you?? Long long ago when I was still quite noobish – I stumbled upon Flashmans.  At the time, it was at a different location and had a different owner.  Martin Ren, the proprietor, had built a quaint and unique little place.  It was full of deco designs, secret rooms, a ghost, opium pipe, ambiant music stream, cool vintage themed animations, arm wrestling, history..even a mouse!  I’m sure it was the first place I’d been that wasn’t a strip club full of blinging primary colors, classic rock music and strobe lights!  It really wowed me!

Over the years, as I was decorating my place (Astoria della Mar), Flashmans was often in my mind.  I wanted my place to feel like THAT!  Vintage and Quirky!  Over the years, I eventually added many similar items to Astoria.  In recent months, all the Glimmer Moon shop items have striven for that feel too!

Here's one corner of the cozy shop.

Flashmans has new owners and a new location now… Phideaux Mayo and Echo Underwood are the current proprietors!  Flashmans has a new look (a creation of Martin Ren even!) and is situated on the corner of the Esoterica sim.  There are also some really cute shops – antiques, steampunk, all unique and fun!

My stuff feels at home in this shop!

Small and easy for me to fill with clutter!

Even a little porch...

During my first 15 minutes I even had a customer…willing to pay me money!!

...but not for my shop merchandise...

Ah well… I was once a noob visiting Flashmans too!

If you enjoy my creations or the feel of Astoria della Mar..you really must check out Flashmans!  (but…please – don’t show up like my first visitor!)

I thank Martin, Phideaux and Echo for the quirky inspiration!!  No wonder I have a warm fuzzy feeling at this new shop location…this is really where it all began for me!

Published in: on July 8, 2011 at 2:28 am  Comments (4)  

InWorldz News Network

Have you heard about IWNN?  A fun news site covering all things InWorldz!  I was really flattered to be invited to join their writing staff…and in my spare time (ha!) have finally submitted something for them.

My piece covers a recent summer fashion show – but please explore the whole site.  It still feels fairly new there – but, new content is added often!


There wasn’t much space for photos of the fashions there…so, below are a few of the swimsuit highlights!

Raven Dulce – Fashion Show MC
Manni Poliert
Gina Clarity
Tori Jules
Rhiannon McKenna
Divalin Magic
The Lifeguard

The Secret Cottage (Residential Rental)

Ahhh, sadly, this is a thing of the past.  It was a beautiful spot, but closed in the summer of 2012.

Far from the maddening pixel crowd  – a quiet cottage to call your own!  The Bella Reina sim is lushly landscaped!  This parcel is on the South East corner.

The Charming and Private Cottage

The cottage is just two rooms and a walled courtyard at the entrance.  You’re welcome to replace it with your own.  The Eastern boundary is the sea…no neighbors and a snow capped mountain to the North.

From a far southern perspective.

The meadow and lit boardwalk are yours to use too!

A warm cozy feel inside with a fireplace!

Looking outside – through the old world window.  Not a neighbor in sight!

A Southeastern parcel view.

It’s 3000 prims and 2080 sqms.  Just 1000 IZs per week and a two week minimum.  Click the Rental Box to pay AND then click the Buy Land at the top of your viewer (just $1!) to own the land.  You’ll have full permissions for teraforming, land settings, music stream and more!

Located here:  http://slurl.com/secondlife/Bella%20Reina/224/59/22

or, check my Profile Classifieds

Published in: on June 21, 2011 at 1:50 am  Comments (3)  

Tips for Export/Import Second Life & InWorldz

It seems like it should be so easy!  Can’t I just drag my own creations from one grid to the next?  Or, I’ve even heard about some inventory backup-to-hard-drive gadget…??  For the past six months I’ve been porting objects between InWorldz & SecondLife  – both ways….and here’s how it works most accurately for me.  I’ve not ported any scripted or animated objects – my experience is with porting multi-prim textured objects with regular and sculpted prims only.


  1. You must use the same viewer for both actions.  (I prefer Phoenix, but have had success with Imprudence too.
  2. You must be the creator of the object.  My viewer even prohibits export of full perm objects I didn’t create.

Here’s how it works for me.  Let’s say I’m taking an 11 prim lantern from IWz to SL.

Rezz the lantern in IWz, right click it and select More…then More again, then Export.

Save and name it in a way that you will remember later!!  It should be as an XML File.  I always name it same for both worlds and save to my desktop.  It appears as a Folder and an XML file, with appropriate names.

Now, in SL, at top left of your (same) viewer, select File/Import Linkset.  Select the XML File.

OH! Now the fun begins.  My experience is that the ported object appears SOMEWHERE near my avi…sometimes behind my camera’s view.  You may need to cam out a bit…look around.  I’ve even had to do an Area Search to find it.  I have learned that setting my camera view close to my avi’s feet before I import… usually the ported object will appear nearby.

Wow – the lantern looks great.  Woot!  but…wait.  In my research, I’d read that Cleaning your Cache and Restarting might make things look different.  So I did that and …FUCK!  It’s now a wooden blob of white prims! 😦   Grrrr

So… I quickly learned that I needed to have the sculpt maps and textures in both worlds – transfered independently.

Fortunately all the prim settings are saved – size and texture details.  I could Edit the blob and add the maps and drop the textures on and it began taking perfect shape.

NOTE: After porting, be sure to check the object’s permissions – as the porting process opens all the Perms.

For simple 1 prim objects – it’s probably easier to just start the object from scratch in the new world.  With high prim, complicated builds (my 130 prim brass bed, for example) – Porting was a lifesaver!  Particularly nice is that the texture settings are in tact!

Scripts and animations are a different matter – but similar, in that you’d take them to your hard drive then upload in new world.   These items may not be quite as compatible in various worlds, as grids vary.

Those are the basics involved – however, I’ve encountered many exceptions and glitches along the way.  Some things just never make the export to my desktop.  Some don’t make the import.  More times than I can count I’ve had the annoying glitch of the map or texture going BLANK!  PERMANENTLY  When this happens, the map has no shape or the texture appears white/blank!   Usually a cache clean fixes this.  More than once I’ve needed to reinstall my viewer.  Using a different viewer will make them appear normal again.. some weird sort of file corruption, I guess…?  If anyone knows more about that, I’m all ears!  This issue makes me evaluate the need of porting versus starting the object from scratch….if it’s a simple build, I start from scratch.

Feel free to add your experiences here!  My Google analytics show that dozens of people search this topic daily!  Questions?  Feel free to write me in IWz or SL!

Published in: on June 16, 2011 at 7:59 pm  Comments (12)  

Has Your InWorldz Peaked?

I am loving every moment of my IWz time.  I’ve slowly added to my tier obligations, slowly growing my group, slowly adding inventory…well, it’s not always slow – it lurches up and down 🙂  …but, it’s very ..calculated.

Since I joined in November 2010, there’s been a tremendous excitement in IWz!   The members are patient with the beta aspects…feeling like we’re getting in on the ground floor of a great thing..and that when the physics are added – look out, it’s going to GROW!  But…just how big do we expect it to become?  Average attendance in SL is 40-50,000.   Is that what we expect?  Or something more reasonable, like 1/4 of that?  10,000 users IWz at once?  🙂

It’s grown since I’ve been there.  There were 650 regions when I joined…Now, mid-May 2011, there are 882.  (Edited:  January 21, 2012 there are 884)When I joined, the highest attendance I saw was around 150…that grew to exceed 200 – at peak times.  Yet… I rarely see attendance over 200 any more…and those last 20-30 new regions took forever to appear.

Please know that I am not trying to report negatively about IWz!!!  I adore it there and my little biz continues to exceed my expectations in so many ways!  It’s just that in the past month, I’ve noticed a few changes – and I know I’m not alone.  I think I’m writing now because I want to encourage people to be realistic about what IWz can do for you….and what we can do for IWz.  I don’t think IWz has peaked…but I do think our expectations may have been steered off course.

One of the groups I belong to is Where Can I Find It.  It’s HUGE by IWz standards – over 1000 members – it’s not unusual for there to be 100 avis online at the same time there.  In spite of the fact that I am not an enthusiast of group banter – I find this group to be a single resource for so many things.  In addition to finding things and sharing my own creations…Viewing the activity in this sizeable group makes me feel like I’ve got my finger on the pulse of IWz!  I can see  what others are creating, prices, new businesses and clubs,what is being sought, trends, etc.

Until about a month ago, the Group Notices there were primarily promotions for new creations and upcoming events.   Surely I’m not the only one to notice the shift of Notices going towards land rental and region sales.  Recently, I read a Notice stating that unless a particular shop made enough sales that day, they were going to have to close their doors!  😦

Land is SO much more affordable in IWz, and the abundant prims are irresistible!  If you ever had visions of being a landlord or even land mogul in Second Life… how could you not buy a sim (or 3 or 5 or 10) IWz?  How easy to imagine it would be simple to make ends meet!

Yet I ask, is it wise to buy more land than you need?  Why not add a sim when the others get full?  It may be cheaper in IWz, but the supply and demand may not be the same.  So much similarity between the worlds…but on a smaller scale.

It’s not just IWz that hopes to see growth…the other open sims, AviNation, OSgrid, 3rdRock, etc… they are hoping to lure users from SL too.  I’ve read a ton of mud-slinging between the supporters/users of these groups – each claiming to be the best!  From what I’ve been able to read, IWz is leading the way there…I’ve tried some of them too – obviously I’m enjoying IWz the most.

Amongst all the alternative grids, there’s a rampant bashing of Second Life.  🙂 It’s easy to hear horror tales, issues with Lindens, land, account issues, stalkers… my SL has had issues too.   Many people have “sworn off” SL – claiming they will never return.  Yet, I don’t think bashing the other grids is healthy for any of the grids.

I can understand having a preference, even giving up your old grid for a new one.   But, there will always be many grids for people to consider.  We’re still on the edge of virtual gaming…won’t there always be variations and offshoots?

I’ve begun to think of them as all related.  I have friends in one world.. I have friends in the other.  I have shops in one…shops in the other.  I buy clothes in one – and the other.  The goals are the same for me.   It was MY attitude that was different in each world…but now – they’ve really melded together.

Has anyone else heard/read about a future with grids that are connected?  One avi that can TP between grids, taking their Inventory with them…?  As a merchant, I shudder at the thought of my items being whisked somewhere without my consent…yet, maybe the real answer isn’t about ME knowing about ALL the grids…but rather, a bigger picture.  Making content that is universal, for all grids.

I use two texture websites that sell their textures via email – and you pay according to the level of permission you want.  Just SL – SL & all other virtual grids – SL, all grids AND full creative use, anywhere.  This makes perfect sense to me, and works beautifully for my dual virtual lives!

I could imagine an online shop, like SLMarketplace, that supported all the grids.  Items would be exchanged in the same manner we export/import linksets now…via XML files.

LOL…is that too far fetched?  I don’t really think so….imagine…we could all experience all the grids – with such ease!

Meanwhile, I’m feeling bad for the folks that overextended themselves IWz.  Having money worries is obviously bad…and a different type of bad feeling comes when you have to pull your tenderly created prims or say goodbye to that wonderful landscape you labored over.

Just like SL, the alternate grids have risks.  Protect yourself!  Be prepared for change!  Don’t risk more than you can really afford.  Personally, I acquire land or shop rental space only if I know I can have fun maintaining it all by myself.  Yes, I aspire to earn enough to pay my rent – but, in my heart and mind….the whole virtual package is about having fun.  It’s a hobby!!   I’d like to think that if my renters left and I never sold another object…I’d still be having fun and my expenses would still be worthwhile.

My IWz is still more beautiful than anything in my SL.

Members of InWorldz… I caution us to not sound desperate!  I’m a big advocate of advertising and promoting our works… but, really… excessive and repetitive advertising isn’t going to fix anything.  If there’s currently a lull with InWorldz growth – hammering the existing members with repetitive ads is frankly …annoying..and sad.  I make a bi-weekly group Notice in the Where Can I Find It group.  My Notice provides the url link to my blog – and via this WordPress blog, I can track how many readers I attract.  The results are ALWAYS worthwhile.  (My Transaction page also proves it!)  However, of those thousand members, only a small portion of them are NEW members – the majority are the same core group.  To keep the repeat reader interested, the information needs to be fresh!!  Even your old items can be spotlighted in a new way, fresh description, new photos, suggestions for new uses, etc.  (what a great way to improve & optimize our advertising marketing skills!)  For Pete’s sake, double check your spelling and grammar while you’re at it!!

If we want IWz to grow – we must continue to make a great impression on the new users.  This is something IWz already has a great reputation for!!  EVERY article and interview I’ve seen has praised IWz for the warm welcome and helpful attitude.  The Mentors are fabulous at helping people get started!  The Founders are awesome at helping with account and land issues.  There is a great sense of community there.

I’m a little worried that IWz members could lose some of this.  Now, more than ever, we need to stay upbeat and positive!  By no means am I suggesting you should stay longer than you want…just that, if we are there – and if we want it to keep growing – we’ve got to continue to show that warm and positive feeling.    The attitude of IWz is one of its strongest selling points!

Are we staying true to the feelings and motivations that inspired us originally?

Just like in RL – during this tough economy, NOW MORE THAN EVER it is wise to invest in your product and continue (even expand) your advertising & promotional efforts.  I know it’s hard to justify spending more when you’re earning less…but, it’s a proven advertising strategy in RL. (assuming you plan to stick with it for awhile!)   Also, land barons beware… There’s a trap when you lower your rental prices too much…when the economy revives, it’s very difficult to raise your rents to your original price point.

2 readers of my blog roll have expressed confusion that some of my posts are about SL – others IWz.  But..they’re not confused anymore!  It’s been a great way to let my SL readers see how cool IWz is.  Expose the various grids to each other!  Do you have any way to share your IWz with folks in other worlds?     My virtual time is rather diligently divided between SL and IWz – and while that’s not the best approach for everyone – I ask you to consider keeping your virtual doors open to all the worlds! ….open in both directions!

Honestly…I like the smallness of IWz.  If it never grows another region, I’ll enjoy the creative opportunity it provides for me.  It sparked a flame of creativity that has changed so many things for me in RL, SL, IWz!!

My wish is that all the InWorldz members enjoy their time there as much as I do!  I encourage you to think about the things that brought you there originally.  To recall the amazing things that Second Life has inspired and taught us, regarding virtual worlds.  To think long and hard about your virtual goals and if the worlds you’re in can make them come true.  Lastly, in the words of John F. Simmedy, to “Ask not what your grid can do for you, but what you can do for your grid.”

I love Vintage (via Dana Adasia)

Dana Adasia has a wonderful fashion blog – great new fashions and wonderful photography. Her recent post even featured one of the Glimmer Moon mirrors! Thanks so much Dana and keep up your super work!

I love Vintage . Shape & Skin: Al VULO! Skin & More, Matilde, NEW RELEASE !!! Hair: >TRUTH< Jocelyn Lingerie: ** DIRAM ** GRACE Attire Shoes: N-core SEDUCTION XtremeHeel “Pearl” Mirror: Glimmer Moon Warehouse, Glimmer Openwork Mirror Couch: [LA]Dressing Room Dormeuse . . … Read More

via Dana Adasia

Published in: on May 15, 2011 at 12:20 am  Leave a Comment  


For 3 years, I hosted a weekly live music event at my place in SL.  I’m not an enthusiast of overcrowded sims, excessive gesturing, contrived so-called “welcomes” that never speak to you again, repeated requests for venue support, etc… so, I decided to book my few favorite musicians at my Astoria.

It was a lot of fun!  I am so glad to have met such great people… yet it began to feel stale – and then it became a chore (which is not how I want to feel my SL/IWz!).  Still adoring the musicians, I was tired of the obligations that come from hostessing my events.  It’s not that hard, but…well, I’ve given them up for now.  The best result is that now I am going out (those who know me – don’t be too shocked!  🙂 ) to hear some live shows…and loving them more than ever now!

Last night, (22 April, 2011) I stepped out for an AM Quar show at the Dragon Moon club.

When I landed, he was already half way through You Can Leave Your Hat On – a fav of mine, (does anyone else think of 9 & 1/2 Weeks when they hear this?) and AM’s version contains all the moody drama you’ve heard in Cocker’s (or any other) version.

AM Quar on Stage

Such a great way to take a break from building – and get out of the sim house! I was letting things rez and noticed that there was even “red carpet” for me to walk on!  I took a few steps and heard/read in open chat:

[19:07]  hack celeb writer: Hello Dancer

I replied “Hi Hack” and took a few more steps.  Then I see:

19:08]  hack writer: Do you have any comment about the 
rumours Dancer? ?

THIS caught my attention!  then:

[19:08]  hack Snapper: Where is Dancer . I can't see!

All these avis were standing near the red carpet with cameras and microphones..there was a media van nearby!  Finally my rezzing completed and I could see they weren’t avis with cameras – but rather cut-out silhouettes that were scripted to greet new visitors!

[19:06]  hack celeb journo: This way Dancer Over here.
[19:06]  hack Snapper: Let me see!  Dancer this way.
[19:06]  hack writer: Where do you buy your clothes Dancer ?
[19:06]  hack celeb writer: Hey Dancer Over here.
[19:06]  hack flasher: Wow Dancer You look great today.
[19:07]  Master hack Harry: Hey look its Dancer Glimmer
[19:07]  hack celeb journo: Dancer Say cheese Dancer
[19:07]  hack Snapper: Stop shoving me! Dancer Over here Dancer
[19:07]  hack celeb writer: Hi, Dancer Dancer
[19:07]  hack flasher: Show us some leg Dancer
[19:07]  Master hack Harry: Hey look its Dancer Glimmer
[19:07]  hack writer: Dancer have you seen the papers today?
[19:07]  hack celeb journo: Give us a smile Dancer
[19:07]  hack writer: Excuse me Dancer Are the rumours
 about you and a 'certain somebody' true Dancer ?

LMAO So fun – and I’d barely left the landing point!  We hear all the time about the amazing creativity in virtual worlds – but I found this particularly clever and unique!  Kudos to the creator!

Now AM had eased into What Kinda Woman…and it was just what I needed.  A great dance groove!  I found the dance floor (which was packed with glamorous avis!) and looked for a quiet corner (my usual approach) …but couldn’t find one, and ended up front and center!  Clicking on my dance hud I quickly got into AM’s rhythm.  His vocals were sounding great – so strong!

It didn’t take me long to realize I hadn’t known it was a themed event – actually a rezz day party for Nyna Slate who was turning 8! There were celebrity costumes….

Marilyn Monroe!!

A Superstar!

Now AM was playing Naughty Girl – and it always feels like he’s singing it to ME!  (He is, isn’t he?)

Oh, it's Ringo Starr!

Then AM slowed down for Wonderful Tonight.  He absolutely nails the guitar!

It was a fun party!  There were 45 avis there when I checked.  I love that they booked AM Quar for their event.  He’s been a musician for all of his RL and playing in SL since 2009.  I first met AM at Junkyard Blues in SL…and can clearly remember when he was first contemplating performing in SL…I’m sure glad he decided to give it a try!

Kermit, too!!

…Miss Piggy joined Kermit, but I didn’t grab a shot.

Then I literally got goose bumps up my arms for the next song – AM doing justice to the Guitar Pete song, Do You Hear the Rain – always a crowd pleaser when AM’s guitar goes wild!  AM states that one of his influences was Jimi Hendrix – it’s easy to hear that it’s true!

Then it was MY turn to go wild when he ripped into Little Sister, by my fav, Stevie Ray Vaughn – it ROCKED!  AM plays a wide genre of music, blues, rock, lounge standards, Latin – but it’s his blues that leave me breathless!  The guitar and vocal for this are so rockin’….I dare you to sit still while listening!

I think it's Madonna (see her cone cups!)

Black Magic Woman, the Santana song was next – AM’s haunting vocals and guitar – the familiar wail!  Loved it and confess to singing along in RL!!

Perhaps my favorite...love the gold pants!

I’m not sure about the above costume… but he was very cool!  🙂

Give Me One Good Reason came up next and as he slid into those bluesy notes, he took me with him.

A Glamorous Hollywood Couple!

An AM original, I’ll Dare  (or is it Out There?), was played next.  I usually am partial to music I already know (narrow minded, I know!) – but this song has quickly become a favorite of mine.  It also shows that AM’s skills go beyond performing and into the creative side of music!  Well done, AM!  If you’d like to hear more of his creations, check:  http://www.soundclick.com/andremassicotte .

Next we heard Purple Rain – AM hit the guitar licks beautifully!  Such a moving rock ballad – and it always takes me back to the 1980’s – the movie, the purple, and the unsung guitar skills of Prince (I share a RL B-day with the Purple One!  Shredding through the guitar solo – AM left no room for improvement!

One of the many unique guitars on display at Dragon Moon.

I must mention one more detail about this venue…the cool guitar exhibit!  Perhaps a dozen or so, uniquely designed guitars…themed, colorful – incredibly creative!  (you can see some of the paparazzi and media van in the background!)

I had to glance twice at my clock when AM announced it was time for the last song!  The hour is always TOO SHORT when he’s on stage!  The old standard, Boulevard of Broken Dreams, is always such a surprise to me – the blues, the emotion…maybe it’s because the only other version I know is by Tony Bennett – and AM’s is such an awesome departure from that.  Love it!

As the show came to a conclusion, I told myself that I wouldn’t wait so long before I went out for another event!  If you’re interested in hearing an AM Quar show, his Profile has some of his regular gigs listed – or join his group to receive invites to all his great shows.  As for the Dragon Moon venue, a huge thanks to them for hosting live events like this, and if you want to see the paparazzi yourself: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Dragon%20Moon/45/65/24

Published in: on May 1, 2011 at 4:35 am  Leave a Comment  

Group Etiquette 1-A

Groups!  I have a love hate relationship with them!  They serve so many great purposes – but, can also be annoying, disruptive beds for growing false information.   I’ll try to keep my personal preferences out of here – but share some basic group etiquette that should benefit everyone!

  1. A little grammar, please.  I realize it’s a casual environment, but to prevent confusion…add a comma here and there – so we can distinguish one point from another.
  2. Who are you speaking to? If the group chat includes more than one topic/conversation/thread…mention the name of who you’re addressing.  This is so other people will know what topic you’re addressing.
  3. Promoting an event?  DETAILS!!  Of course the date, time & location are important…but what kind of event is it?  Specifically, what is new at your shop?  How much is it?  How many prims are included?  It’s only the really bored reader that’s going to respond to a vague announcement!
  4. Does the group have criteria?  Limits to chat topics or Notice frequency?  As a group owner, set them – and post them where all members can see (group description, perhaps).  As a participant in a group, heed them.  What you consider a friendly invite can be considered spam by another… Know your audience and respect their expectations.
  5. How many notices are really needed for an event?  Most people in world are spontaneous.  “There’s a great show now, let’s go!”…  but a week long update – 7 days till the big show, 6 days till the big show, 5 days, etc… Please stop!
  6. Consider a web based calendar for a busy agenda.  2-3 events per day, or a jam packed weekend line up?  Have one place where your followers can look to see it all!  Let your group notices be lighter – encourage your followers to learn how to get updates 24/7.   While I’m at RL work, I might check my favorite musicians Google calendar to see if there’s a show I want to attend that evening….  InWorldz blog pages would also work for this.  (web pages that feature your creations would also serve this purpose…updated with new merchandise.)
  7. Too many group notices?  Too much chat?  Check the Group’s page and review the options in lower right corner.  You can disable them temporarily and/or individually.  If that’s too extreme, consider “tearing off” the group chat window and minimizing it….then the group chat can go on without it pinging each time, and you can review what you missed, at your leisure.
  8. An InWorldz specific suggestion, as the Profiles can’t be opened by clicking on avi names from within group chat window… (one most go to Search, then look up the avi).  Don’t make the person who’s willing to dig an LM (or whatever) out of their inventory for you ALSO have to search your name to deliver it.  The person seeking help should be doing some of the work, no?

Personally, I like to see groups stay true to their origins.   If I’m in a group for cat lovers, it isn’t because I wanted to hear about your day, your broken heart or visions for your sim….if I’m interested in your day, I’ll send you an IM.   Particularly in a large group with a fairly broad focus, doesn’t it just seem polite (and discreet) to take your personal details to IM?  If what your discussing takes more than 2-3 entries, perhaps you should pause and contemplate how many of the people in this group want/need to know what you’re talking about.

And since you’ve made it this far, I’ll be very blunt and say that, overall, I dislike ALL groups!  I cringe when there’s dozens of notices each time I sign in…my blood pressure goes up each time an IM interrupts my work…  I actually boycott any establishment that sends me more than one announcement per day!!!  Yet, there are facets of each group that I want – so I don’t turn off the announcements.  When you ramble on in a group chat, I mute you for the day!  I don’t dislike anyone in the groups.  The groups I’m in are full of great, friendly and helpful people and there’s such an amazing network being developed – every day! – I just prefer a quieter experience when I sign in (/me is a weird hermit)

I hope the groups I’m in don’t think I’m a bitch now… Perhaps I could form a new group “People Who Think Dancer is Bitchy”??  LOL  Am I the only one who feels this way?

Hugs everyone – see you in Group Chat!!

Profiles – Fact or Fiction?

What does your Profile say about you?  All those Tabs – does anyone read them?

From a 2008 Profile

I’m definitely a Profile fanatic!  It’s rare that I’m chatting with anyone without  having read their Profile first.  Whether it’s an old friend or a first time chat, I’m all over the Profile!  While hanging out at a busy venue, my favorite past time is reading them all.  I even have a tag that says “Reading Your Profile.”  I enjoy the reading and seeing the photos (often, amazing shots!).  I love when a Profile intentionally paints a good portrait of how the avi spends their time.

I was especially slow to grasp the information and possible fun within a Profile.  Even slower still to grasp how my own Profile could reflect on me.   Longer still to finally grasp the purpose of each tab.   My first two years were probably spent in Profile naivete (with the exception of the Profiles of Creators, for tracking down stores).

Profile in 2007

Starting with the first page – the first glance at you!  Most avis seem to give a fair amount of thought to the photo here.  I see professional portraits, candid snapshots and Photoshop creations.

Beneath that, Groups.  Do you show all of yours…or are you hiding some secrets here?  🙂  (I definitely hide some!)  This can tell a lot about the avi… Are they in to live music?  Fashions? A dozen free sex groups?  Are most of them in a language different than yours?  Is their rez day in 2007, but not a single group showing?  While not foolproof – you can learn a few things with Group info.

Then, the “About” section… this is where most people write a bit about their SL goals (to have drama free fun), loves (the most wonderful partner in RL/SL…EVER!), and friends (don’t fuck with my friends or I’ll mess you up bad!)…and usually a chance to reiterate the No Drama zone.  It’s common to see a list of things not accepted…no random TPs, no random Friendship offerings, etc.  Ohhh, I almost forgot, (cuz they’re so boring)…you might also find some famous quotes – that have already been used a zillion times!


As an avid Profile reader, I know I’m a minority.  Based on the questions I’m asked, most avis that write me definitely have NOT read my Profile.  This makes me question putting my “rules” in my Profile…why write all these guidelines, if the people who need to read them probably aren’t Profile readers?  I think that the people who actually read Profiles either enjoy reading them as much as I do…or are searching for info regarding merchandise in my store.  As a result, my Profile tries to stay up beat and positive.

The “Web” tab is next….this is usually blank, but sometimes has links to favorite video clips, blogs or online sales.  I put my SLMarketplace link there – but confess to often not reading this tab when perving your Profile!

On to the “Interests” tab…”IF” people bother to fill this out at all – I think they do it once, in the beginning, and then forget all about it.  I remember not filling mine out for a long time, thinking that checking one of those boxes would put me on a list, or group, and obligate me to participate somehow… lol.  I get a kick out of finding a creative answer in the little boxes!

…and then the multi-purpose, multi-faceted “Picks” tab!!  So much info can be found here!  You can do like I did for my first year, and use it instead of LMs, for finding your favorite, hard to remember, locations.  (I was LM challenged for the first year…I didn’t know how to take them, find them, use them – thank God for friends willing to TP me!)  My first picks were for Bits and Bobs and a few other places that sold adult animations…. tsk tsk!  Some Picks contain favorite shopping locations, frequented clubs, best places to explore or your gro0vey home!   I get a big RL grin when I discover a juicier Picks tab, with details about your friends, your rules of engagement, photos of you and your sweetheart, details of why you are a dom/sub expert (oops, Dom),  poetry, quotes from your friends, PHOTOS ..or at the very least, WHY you selected those locations – rather than just leaving the location owner’s Search Keywords there.

Like evaluating Groups, Picks can be insightful too!

Then, the lonesome “Classified” tab – used only by people advertising.

Lastly, the scary, often empty, “Real Life” tab!  It was months before I understood it wasn’t some other game/activity, I thought it was something similar Second Life!  lol, I can be soooo slow!  I posted a photo of some other woman on my RL tab for a long time!  (that is definitely another story!)  I’ve seen RL photos that I’m fairly sure are authentic, some that I’m sure are not!  Of course some prefer to keep that private – and post nothing, or a shot of their avi.  Then, space for a few words….more often than not, stating that RL and SL are separate!  (why is it that those avis are often the first to ask me my RL A/S/L?)

If I had more time and creativity, I’d update my Profile more often.  As it stands now, it’s accurate and I think informative, surely too self centered, and probably full of so many details that there’s nothing left for me to talk about!  I don’t mind sharing my RL A/S/L and photo.  (All this Profile talk has been regarding SL – my IWz Profile Perving hasn’t progressed much, yet)

My time spent Profile Perving has been informative and helpful to me, as well as a source of amusement.  I can also confess to a case or two of Profile Stalking!  Watching the Profile of an Ex as they move on to their next interest(s), can be painfully addictive!

How could I have forgotten to mention the Rez day and Partner spots?  Rez date isn’t as helpful as it once was – as many people recreate and/or have alts.  A young but well groomed avi is probably not brand new.  Partner info can be helpful, for obvious reasons!

I feel let down when I open a Profile for the first time and it says something to the effect…”Want to know more?  Just ask!”  …Gee, it’s nice you’re willing to share (if I ask), but how do I know it’s even worth our time to do that?

Profiles….I look forward to reading yours!

The Bitching Post

Who, me?

Perhaps it’s just my RL years catching up with me, but it turns out, I’m not nearly as open-minded as I’d like to be.  I’m not talking about race, creed, sexual preference, age or even political party!  But, I’m sorry to say there are a few virtual life practices I just don’t have patience for.

I mean… I just can’t take a conversation with a dragon very seriously!  Or people with wings, halos or horns…or vampire teeth.

Pretending to be a master, slave, Gorean woman or a Mom, Dad, big brother or sister?  Not sure you’ll easily keep my attention.

I’ve yet to encounter a child avi without having really icky feelings!  I’m sure there are many well intended child avis on the grids – but, with internet child abuse/pornography so prevalent and hard to detect, why in the world would you want to be remotely associated?

My higher conscience knows I’m being snobbish.  I mean, virtual living is THE PLACE to pretend and experiment with alternate styles and lifestyles!  Fortunately, my little corner of the virtual world doesn’t put me in situations where these folks would have to put up with me and my narrow mind!  🙂

But what’s really driving my fingers today are …RL Married People who have romantic relationships online – but not with their RL spouse!

Some of these people keep their 2nd life a complete secret from their RL spouse and family.  Some claim to tell their RL spouse..but really don’t.  Perhaps most common, is creating a modest description of SL to tell your RL spouse.  (this is when calling it “just a game” must come in handy!)  “They’re just avatars on poseballs – it’s not real!”  “We just dance and talk a bit”  It’s really easy to downplay the description of SL activities.

Meanwhile, inside the IM window, commitments to have partnerships, agreeing to not date or dance with anyone else online, sharing of secret dreams and fantasies and SO MUCH MORE occur.

Each RL married avi I know has a special way of justifying…or classifying, their online actions for themselves.  It’s incredibly easy to fool yourself too, to compartmentalize it…after all, it’s your PC/laptop, where you play online games….

I’m no saint!  I’ve been a 3rd party in these situations.  Knowingly and unknowingly.  It’s a shitty thing to do….so I tell myself before and after!

I’ve read all the debates about online relationships.  They ARE real – They AREN’T real.  You SHOULD be jealous – You SHOULDN’T be jealous.

Come on people – can you tell me that the emotions online aren’t real???  Genuine, heartfelt exchanges take place.  Those poseballs stir affectionate thoughts!   Did you put all that time and $$ into your sexy avatar just to impress yourself?

Think you’re safe because you don’t use X-rated or kinky poseballs?  Pfffft  Poseballs aren’t the threat at all!  It’s those private moments shared, the whispers, the anticipation and growing desire that would worry me!

It’s not always about romance, either….I once shared hotel recommendations with a long-time avi friend, who was going to my favorite European cities.  He and his RL wife had a great trip and he reported that my hotel advice had been great.  I guess his RL wife hadn’t known about me or his SL – and when she discovered SL and our chat history, she was so upset!  Upset that her husband had a virtual pen-pal, that he took advice from some “stranger” (gee, i don’t seem like a stranger to me!) for their RL vacation, that he had hours and hours of chat (nothing romantic) that covered day-to-day crap, the kind of crap you share with your dear friends.  She was upset to not know he had a dear friend.  I totally understood where she was coming from.

Ultimately, it’s the RL couple’s life and situation!  (and i should mind my own business) Perhaps they’ve special guidelines for each other, or have a true understanding and acceptance of what their spouse is doing online.  Polygamists even!  Perhaps my RL married avi friends are being neglected in RL and SL is filling a void…. any scenario is possible!  Yet, I can’t help feeling that the RL spouses are not getting the whole story (even if they think they are) – and if they did, they’d be crushed!!

After about a year of SL, I had a sudden revelation and added it to my Profile RL tab  – it still holds true to me today:  Why say your RL is private when really it’s your SL that’s the big secret?

If you happen to be on my Friend list and think I’m writing about you – you’re probably right!  But, 6 of my 10 Friends can think the same….so it’s not specifically you 🙂  And, my friends – this topic irks me, but doesn’t change the friendship I feel for you!  …there are no dragons on my Friend list!

Online relationships are a new frontier – I’m no expert – and all of this is just my personal reaction.

I’m sure my next post will be light and witty… it’s time to hang up my hat at The Bitching Post and ease on over to The OK Corral!

Published in: on January 3, 2011 at 3:54 am  Leave a Comment